Voice Over And Narration Services By Matuschka Lindo
by Matuschka Lindo

I am in such a good mood this time of year. For the most part Christmas makes me happy, excited and so thankful for my family and friends. For the most part... Then every year there are some jack asses out there that just make me want to scream. Why? Why am I even surprised at the rudeness and inconsiderate actions of others is beyond me. Seriously, nothing surprises me anymore. I think I just tend to let down my guard at Christmas time. Is it just me? Or are these some of your top 10 Christmas Pet Peeves!
Let me do the honors and vent them for us.

1. When there is a jammed packed full parking lot and the person walks to their car and gets in, knowing there are people waiting for that spot. And they know because you were stalking them for the spot. Then get into the vehicle and your blinker is on and ready. Then after they start the car, they deicide to also light a cigarette, check their phone and do whatever the hell else they need to do before pulling out. Let me  be clear here on what I am thinking when someone does this... I am wishing I had a battering ram on the front of my car.

2. The busiest shopping time of the year is not the time to have your supper at the fricking deli counter. Nor is it a time to see if your toddler wants to weigh in on what type of meat you should get by getting a sample for yourself then offering every sample to your toddler and asking them what they think as 5-7 people are waiting with numbers in their hand. Know that if you choke on a bite we will be thinking it serves you right.

3. At the post office don't pull a number if your packages aren't wrapped, addressed and ready. When you pull a number it means you are ready. Not almost ready. It's not a hold your place in line until I get my package ready number. That is not how it works. Give your ticket away and get another until you are ready, or better yet don't pull a damn ticket until you are ready.

4. When a store is about to close and you see they have locked the doors. Get your shit and get ready to check out. That's not the time to head to the dressing room or ask for gift wrapping. NO Closed means they are done working and that includes waiting on another customer. It doesn't mean walk around and mess up a few more items. That includes unfolding a sweater, or moving a hanger that has already been methodically spaced for closing. It means pack up, walk out, and start again tomorrow.

5. One of my biggest pet peeves here! It's not the time to be politically correct.(Not sure there is ever a time to not just say it like it is) It's Christmas. If you celebrate another holiday fine, I respect that, but it doesn't mean I have to water mine down. I'm not a Happy Holidays person. What does that mean anyway? Is that a trifecta of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years in one? Am I abbreviating to get them all covered in one word. When it's Thanksgiving I say Happy Thanksgiving not Happy Holidays. When it's Fourth of July I say Happy Fourth of July. Would you not look at me like I was a moron October 31st if I said Trick or Treat Happy Holidays. Ya it sounds stupid because it is! It's called Happy Halloween right? No math or science involved here we are celebrating the birth of Jesus, It's his birthday and the name of the party is Christmas. So, It's Merry Christmas because that is what it is in December. That means it's Christmas not some random holiday. You can call it whatever you are celebrating doesn't change my party. Enough with that crap.

6. I have to go back to the parking lot. A parking lot is just a haven for war during the holidays. Okay, let's be honest... you know who got there first when someone is puling out. Don't give me that dumb look like, "Oh wait where you here first?" You know I was there before you so don't even play dumb. Because I won't hesitate to call you out on it and embarrass you out loud. I will wait for you to get out of the car to correct the injustice. As I have noticed a plethora of people doing just that. You deserve to be reprimanded publicly if you steal a parking spot. Seriously grow up! 

7. Respect the elderly. That means in heavy traffic, be forgiving don't lay on your horn. In parking lots give them your space. Be patient when they are checking out. Think of how stressful it is to be out in malls and grocery stores this time of year. Add some age and fragility to that and step back and know that what goes around comes around. If anything offer to help, if they look lost take them to where they need to be. It's really easy this time of year, it's called kindness people. It can go a long way.

The last three are more annoying than rude. But still pet peeves for me! 

8. I know I am going to make some people mad here and I am so sorry. Really I don't want to be knocked off your Christmas list, but I do profess to be honest in my blogs. Ahhh you know those Christmas cards... those Christmas cards that you open and they have that long letter in there. That long letter about everything your family did through out the year... Ugh I think those should only go to family or out of town friends. They are kinda painful. I'm sorry. I will probably regret this when I am older and dying to hear about everyones family. Felling bad now...  I won't say anymore about it. Don't be mad. Maybe shorten to like 2 sentences.

9. I too leave my Christmas ornaments up way past Christmas as we celebrate the Epiphany on January 6th. But when I drive by your house in February and you still have your Christmas lights up and on...  this Griswold Family is just unacceptable. 

10. My final irritant is blow up Christmas decorations. I will say one is passable. I get one santa or one snowman scene. I just don't get throwing 20 of them onto your front lawn, How is that supposed to be more festive and bring on that holiday spirit. More lights I get more inflatables ahhh no. I mean if you did a poll, I know people drive around to look at all the lights on homes. There is something great about listening to Christmas music in your car and driving through neighborhoods to see all the lights. I will not believe you if you tell me the house with all the inflatables gives you that same feeling. It might.... I just won't believe you.

I feel much better now getting that off my chest. Again, the last three are my own problem not really a vent. My true request is this: Just try to be considerate during the Christmas season. We are all in a hurry and we all have long to do lists. When you are kind it's amazing what the parking gods will do. Try it!

Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!

Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
Above images from www.thecluttershop.com



12/16/2015 4:47pm

Wow, I was upset because no one waves. " thank you" when you let them in front of you while driving.

12/16/2015 9:44pm

Oh the Seinfeld wave is a must! That's year round!

Kate Jordan
12/16/2015 6:42pm

Buddy says, "She's an angry elf" ;)
Merry Christmas!!

12/16/2015 9:45pm

Oh ya tired elf too! Haha Merry Christmas!

Jenny Ulm
12/18/2015 7:02am

You had me at the parking lot comment! Amen sista! Merry Merry. Sounds like mamma needs some egg nog!

12/18/2015 6:34pm

Oh Jenny we can't spike the egg nog enough!💋

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12/24/2016 6:20am

Advance happy Christmas to everyone around the world, have a peaceful and lovely holidays. And the most amazing thing about Christmas is the get together dinners and parties as well.

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