Look at my cartoon character picture. According to my friends I look a lot more like her than I want to. One friend stated that my cartoon character had perfect midlife breasts and needed a new bra. Apparently I am in the same boat! I walked into a party one evening and one of my best friends from college kept staring at me. She finally blurted out loud, "Do you not have a bra on?" I respond with, "Of course I do!" I'm a 36 C, not really no bra wearing material. As good friends do, she followed up with, "You are sagging so bad I just assumed you had no bra on." That comment meant time for a group bathroom visit. We raced to a bathroom, I took off my shirt for her to examine and she gasps that I am wearing the worst bra she has ever seen! Okay, so I haven't bought a new bra in maybe 3 years. But I have a surplus of them so I just threw that one away. Fast forward to another party a few months later. Now she just comes up to me and grabs my bra straps and yanks them hard stating, "Your girls need to be here!" That's it, Brigitte wins! I go bra shopping and am shocked at how uneducated I am about my aging sagging breast and what it takes to wear the right bra at midlife. Shape Magazine has some great basic advice for different breast shapes. One of the most important things to know is as you age, your breasts tend to spread out as well as down. Ugh Sorry Malcolm! In reality women should purchase a new bra every six months as they get older especially if they are department store bras. No, I am not making this up... so start saving for semi annual purchases. Who knew that turning midlife equated to the bra recycling business? Today I only own two pair after throwing 15 away.
What lies ahead for the shriveling future for our breasts as we age? I am typing this blog in bed and looking down at my keyboard. Between my neck and the keyboard, I look almost flat chested! The damn things have fallen into my armpits laying down with no bra on. I must say it really isn't a pretty sight. The big part of aging boobs is they lose elasticity. Put the image of a full balloon in your mind and age is the pin that someone is poking the balloon with again and again and again. That's the best visual I can give you. Of course, if you are reading this you are probably facing the same gravitational boob deflation that I am. But wait... sagging is the good news there are five other breast bombs that you can look forward too. Why don't you go ahead and sit down to read the rest of this blog. I'm going to share the one that took me off guard. Nipple displacement: (I can hear you cursing from here) nipples point to the side instead of straight ahead. WTH do we really want to know any more? That will bring an entire new look to nipping out. No more headlights I guess after 40 they are your side signal lights. Just horrific! Click Here for more changes that can be expected in your breast as you age.
This is a perfect example of why I write the blog. I could have walked around for many more months with sagging girls and a midlife chest. But my girlfriend spoke up and helped me address the problem. It makes sense... our weight and our clothes sizes change all the time so of course our bra size will too. I just never realized I needed to replace bras like I do white pants. Also I learned that department store bras are not made to hold up like specialty store bras. Realizing that good bras are expensive and we are trying to keep the girls up up up. The choices and help you will receive at a specialty bra store will probably give you a bra with a longer shelf life for your rack. Not to mention a larger variety in shapes and sizes. Including thousands of regular and specialty bras from sizes 28-58 and AA-N. I will be the first to admit I never knew they had any sized above DD or went up to a 58. You can only imagine the look on my face when I walked into Ann's bra shop wearing a C cup and she told me I need a G. I was like a G? What else am I putting in the cup with by breasts??? Walnuts??? G was she crazy... but now I have the most comfy bra. Things just aren't as easy as they were 25 years ago ladies. Click HERE for a Bra Calculator to figure out your true size. I will admit, now I feel 20 years younger, the new bra forces me to pull my shoulders back and I feel sexy again. Taking care of each other is the key to aging well. Sharing things happening to our bodies and using resources to keep us healthy and fit will make us all look and feel better. Remember you are only as old as you feel! And I feel great with my girls standing up for their rights!
Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!
Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...