Had my yearly physical last week. No, not the gyno! But we will touch upon that also. Right now I'm talking internist. It's no secret that I have always fibbed a tad bit on my height. My standard response was 5'1 and 3/4. Not really anyones business, but I guess when even your kids are taller than you and you are the shortest person in your family people begin to question. So, the truth is since about 16 years of age I have been 5'1 and 1/2. I've been happy with my height for the most part. Except gaining five pounds at this height puts you up an entire pant size. Anyway... I'm veering off topic. I go into the doctors office last week and do the standard take off my shoes, get on the cow scale and then walk over to get my height checked. I walk away from the stadiometer (had to look up what that measuring thingy was called, not going to act like I knew what it was all along) and the nurse was like, "Cool you are 5 Feet Even!" My mind hears this and I just stare at her then I not so calmly ask, "EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She has a friendly look on her face and repeats, "You are 5 Feet Tall." NO NO NO I respond with, "Let's do that again I don't think you did that right." So, we do it again. I go back under the stadiometer. (I like my new word can you tell) She responds, "Yep, 5ft even." Holy Mother of God! What happened to the other inch and a half? I am now beyond distraught, I have to be honest here. If I'm going to lose an inch and a half can't it come off my ass! This is so horrible. You may think it's funny but my eyes were filled with water. Why... Why did no one tell me I would start shrinking so early. Also, there's a connection between Height and Health!
I am truly so upset about by new height. And I do think that's a lot of height loss. I plan to get it checked out. I will keep you posted on my shrinkage. That sounds weird, doesn't it coming from a woman? I don't think I have had my height checked in 5 years, so maybe I have steadily been losing and I just hit the grand total last week. But to be safe I think a bone density test is needed. I'm Pissed! Now while I am on the subject of shrinkage let's just put it all out there! We joke about male shrinkage. EVERYBODY TALKS about MALE shrinkage. Seriously, I found a video with a panel of men and male doctors openly talking and actually naming the excuse for male shrinkage, if you can believe that. It's called Sympathetic Nerves in the male that make their penis shrink. WHAT? You have got to be joking? Here's the video, you have to see it to believe it.
Again, why I ask? Why do we not talk about female shrinkage? By the way, I am no longer talking height ladies. This is no time to be prude and squeamish, this is serious. Who knew that we had shrinkage? I never knew.... did you? Maybe.... just maybe, an aunt, a grandma, a mom, someone could have said, "Oh ya, by the way around 40 something it's almost like you become a virgin again." Not only do you DRY UP you SHRINK UP too! Ladies welcome to the world of less estrogen known as Vaginal Atrophy, also called Atrophic Vaginitis. No you are not a freak because sex is painful. And NO, do not believe him when he says it's probably because he is packing a bigger package. Your box is shrinking and you need help, and it's normal. Don't fret, here is the good news. Regular sexual activity, with or without a partner, can help you maintain healthy vaginal tissues. Wait What! Is that good news? I mean I think it is? I guess it depends on exactly how much sexual activity we are talking about. Yikes! I have no desire to enter the land of rabbits in Watership Down HA. Well, the best way to find out is to go to your gynecologist and just get it taken care of the right way. I also recommend getting your moisturizers or lubricants from the doctor to be effective. But in a pinch or until your appointment crisco or olive oil works. I'm not kidding.
Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!
Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...