There I was in a boutique clothing store in tight quarters looking at some sale items. I was standing next to an elderly woman probably mid to late 80's. We were commenting on the fact that fall items were already out and it was only the beginning of August. Mid conversation she just Rips a long wheezing sound. I'm staring at her and she continues talking as if nothing is happening. The weirdest part of the entire thing, is I feel more uncomfortable than she does. How can that be? I am not the one letting out the 20 second high pitched Fart! There is no one else in the back of the store and I know it's not me. It's her and this natural act of Releasing Gas is not phasing her one iota. Which now I am starting to think? WOW! When do you get to that age or point in your life? When are you so comfortable in your skin and accept the uncontrollable events of mother nature with a que sera sera attitude? GEEZ, I am so not there yet! CLICK HERE for TEN Fascinating Fart Facts! It really is worth the Click!
Studies say we potentially Butt Sneeze 15 to 20 times each day. Excuse me for doubting this, but I think I would know if I was Breaking Wind that much. I am NOT! Unless it happens while I am sleeping. Which could be, according to the top ten Panty Burp Facts from above? Now let's get back to the woman who was Rump Ripping and talking to me while we were shopping. Turns out the odds of holding it in as you get older diminish for two reasons. (I see you all shaking your heads with a say it isn't so look.) But yes, we get gassier as we age. The general reason is that like everything else about our bodies as we get older, digestion slows down and food moves through the gut more slowly creating more gas. Sorry… Secondly, as we get older we take more prescription drugs. Gas is a side effect of some antibiotics and blood-pressure medications, and Flatulence often accompanies constipation. Here are some natural easy ways to control gas.
This blog research does not include men. They Pass Gas in jest and in public from birth. They sit on each there, they do it in tight quarters on purpose, they even put a match to it! So I am sure this is not something they worry about with age. Disgusting but I guess rewarding for the OLD FARTS! There's no hope for them so lets just concentrate on us females. There are diets like FODMAP, developed by Australian dietitian and nutritionist Sue Shepherd, that help people who have a lot of gas and food sensitivity. What none of my research gave me was the answer to when you start Tooting at free will in public and not give a damn who is around. Maybe it's not that you don't care? Maybe it's that when you reach a certain age there are too many Sphincter Whistles to control. This is a road I do not want to cross. I will be searching high and low on how to control the aging gassiness dilemma. I would love to hear from you. Will aging release your inhibitions when it comes to Heinie Hiccups? Do you have Raspberry standards? Only with your husband, girlfriends, or close relatives. Have you picked an age when you are going to Blow freely? Do Tell! It is quite musical through out the pews at early morning masses when I attend. So maybe I'll start there in a decade or so.
*Above image by Shutterstock/Salon
Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!
Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...