With an invitation comes some duty shall we say. Some respect to the host or hostess of an event. I think most of our generation and beyond understand and still respect this code that used to be drilled into us growing up, or at least I thought so. I will be the first to admit that I am a late responder which is rude! I have been on both ends of the RSVP nightmare and I just don't understand why it's so hard to be polite and just respond by the date asked. As I said, I am guilty of waiting until that deadline. I usually respond with a NO if I am not sure by that date. If things change, then I call and beg to come if something clears up. That's probably all wrong also. I refer to Emily Post for the answers. What I don't do is not respond at all, that is just Etiquette Hell. Are you a heathen, ignorant, or just mean? Someone has thought about you, invited you, wanted to include you and you can't respond at all? I say an exception may be the 500 invitations sent out for a huge charity event. Okay, that I get. You would go broke on postage responding to the two you get a week. But if a friend or an organization you are involved with sends you an invitation be civilized and respond.
I think the rules of an invitation have gone by the way side? I also believe Evite's make things more complicated. What the hell is a MAYBE? So maybe I make some food for you. Maybe I sit you with a table of 10. Maybe you will find something better to do. Well, maybe I don't want you to come anymore?Maybe is unacceptable. The way the majority of people handle an RSVP is beyond rude. Just for the record if it's a wedding or large party, they want food numbers five days from the event. So if you are calling to say you can come 2 days before, you should be shot. It's gotten so bad now I think people just make extra food for tacky people who come last minute. Etiquette experts say that only 50% of people answer their RSVP's. What a sad state we are in when it comes to manners. What is wrong with people? Is there no guilt when you get a call or email to see if you are coming. Which makes me think… if I have to beg someone to come to an event, I need to strike them from the list for the next time! Now the people who really make me bat crazy, the people who RSVP Yes and No Show. Let's get this out of the way right now. If you don't have some major foreign illness, I am talking very badly about you to someone… GUARANTEED! That is money people have shelled out for you and they won't be refunded.
Thanks to social media there are so many ways to contact a host and hide behind your faux pas, so there is just no excuse. I think the writing is on the wall for RSVP. People don't see the urgency anymore, or we are all just so over booked we can't keep up. I am guilty of having five events on my refrigerator and walking by only to see what I thought was the RSVP date was the actual day of the party. I screamed and immediately called the hostess with my apologies. Lets hope it's not that our manners are abhorrent, instead time management has gone awry. Here is my worst RSVP story ever. My mother in law (whom I love) is a very nice woman. But… she doesn't think things through sometimes. She went to a family reunion the year I was engaged and she handed the response card to some distant distant relatives in the sticks of Arkansas. Ten days before my wedding I opened up a response card that had come in the mail and it said Guests Attending 21. I kid you not! I cried for two days. My husband and I didn't even know who they were. I am not exaggerating and yes they all came and stood by the open bar all night $$$. I'm not saying we need to go back in time with etiquette where we had calling cards. I would say though that when you get an invitation not only should you respond yes or no immediately. Remember that invitation and response card are only for the people for which it is addressed. The RSVP is really simple. Respect the honor of an invitation and be gracious to those who invite us to celebrate.
*Above Picture by Unison
Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!
Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...