We all say we are going to make time for our girlfriends but something always comes up. Life- filled with everyone else's needs. I remember watching a movie once when I was a teenager and I will never forget it, "All That Heaven Allows" with Rock Hudson and Jane Wyman. Jane's character gives up everything for her children. All her time, all her plans, things she wants to do, and an incredible romance. Her children through out the years are always passively aggressive about getting her to help them with something or doing something they think is best for her. In the end they leave Jane and go on with their wonderful lives. Jane almost loses the love of her life and is left with the latest and greatest television as her companion and a big empty house. That was one of the scariest movies I ever saw. This movie always plays in the back of my mind, forcing me to try very hard to stop and be spontaneous with my girlfriends and my husband. Because if we do our jobs right our kids will leave us. And if we only live through our kids and for our kids we could lose our husbands and/or our girlfriends. This also holds true for other situations that you could put in place of the word "kids"... elderly parents, jobs, etc.
It's an uncharted time in life when our kids are a few months/years from heading out the door. The 'now what am I going to do with myself' rears its head time and time again. We must make time for ourselves and our girlfriends way before the empty nest. It's a work in progress like every other relationship. But it's also a healthy part of life. It can be a trip to an exotic place or something as easy as a lake house a few hours away. Last week I went with some girls to the lake for a couple of days in the dead of winter. We spa'd all day, rented a movie one night and talked about a book we all read the other night. Both nights we dined in with a plethora of appetizers. It was just about taking time for ourselves and sharing a variety of friendships so that we could escape from our daily 'to do list'. Write yourself a permission slip for a girls getaway and find time to take care of yourself!
During this journey through midlife I have seen friends go through divorces, spousal deaths, financial problems, job disasters, failing health and other nightmares, including my own. I don't think we can escape the trials that we are currently going through or the ones that may lay ahead. But I do think we can look for stability through great friendships. I have fallen several times in the last few years and these women continue to pick me up and drag me along. I say drag because some days are harder than others. And you know what? It's okay to not always feel like getting up and facing the day. But eventually you have to get up, reach for your girlfriends hand and let her pull you up. I am also lucky to have a great spiritual foundation thanks to my mom. (I'll share that journey at some time.) The point for today is that with these prongs I find my path to stability. One day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time, one girls trip at a time. Thank you for being a friend! xoxoxo
Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!
Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...