by Matuschka Lindo
Oh the guilt of not sending out Christmas cards this year! Just couldn't make it happen, too much on my plate. As I was perusing through the many cards I received, I started pulling a few aside and thinking, "Wow I haven't heard from this friend in 5 years." Or my uncle in New York who I aways send a card to, I thought, "I haven't talked to him in two years." Shame on me. What's happened to the telephone call. I mean... I always have a phone on me. But I'm starting to notice I don't really use it to talk on anymore. Pretty pathetic but true. I am afraid that texting has replaced the phone call for my choice of conversation. Is that proper etiquette? You know there are new rules on when to email, text, or call.TIME Magazine did a poll
a few years back on advancing phone technology and what it means to our generation. What they found was frightening. Most people can't live without their phones for a day—in most cases not even for an hour. In the poll when people were asked how mobile technology had changed their lives? Many people said it brought them in closer contact with family and friends. Hmmmm REALLY? As you get older sometimes it's hard to stay in regular contact with all your aunts, uncles, parents, and grandparents. (If you are lucky enough to still have them around.) Even old friends... as I received Christmas cards this year, I wondered how they were and what was going on in their lives. Some of you may think you keep up with all your peeps on social media. But I believe social media is a facade as I have said before... smoke and mirrors to what is really going on in the lives of those we love.
This holiday season I picked two nights and called friends and family members I had not had live conversations with in quite some time. My plan was to give a quick call and say I love you. Turns out; with almost all of the calls, we shared what was truly going on in our everyday lives. None of them were quick and all of them were enjoyable and so sweet. The joy I heard on the other end of the line was surprising and up lifting. My uncle said I had made his year surprising him with a call. We talked for 45 minutes. One high school friend Jenny and I talked for over an hour. I laughed so hard I had tears running down my face as we talked about our dysfunctional families that we love. I apologized to all of them for no Christmas card. They all had the same response, "This is so much better than a Christmas card." No text, email, or card can replace the stories we shared by phone. Nor can it replace the memories that came rushing back by hearing their voices. My uncle reminded me of my grandmother who used to sing to me every Christmas before she died. Some calls never got an answer, so I just left messages. They called me back and left one in return. Even those messages I heard were such a treat. Some were long and hysterical. Others were short but still brought a smile to my face. I even replayed a few several times. You see I forgot.... I forgot how good it is to hear someones voice that you love and care for. I'm so busy texting and emailing I truly forgot. A news columnist in Tulsa World recently wrote a great article: A Phone Call May Be The Best Gift To Give.
As we come to the end of another year and get ready to begin a new one. Maybe a phone call is all it takes to start someone's New Year off on the right foot. I mean why not, it's unlimited calling. I remember wanting to talk to my grandmother and having a three minute limit. I had to pass the phone to my brother because she still lived in Panama and it was too expensive. Now I can talk to so many people with minimal cost and instead I'm blowing up my data texting. What is wrong with me? Funny thing is... I think all those calls I made was the greatest gift I could have given myself. It filled me up with something I can't even put into words. Guess you will have to pick up the phone and make a call to understand! In 2015... Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
by Matuschka Lindo
Inspiration can be a driving force in your life no matter what age you are. For women I think they are always trying to reinvent themselves
or to set a new goal for themselves. Not sure what the rule of thumb is for how many times you can try... but I think it's healthy and the sky's the limit. I believe you gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience that might be new. Basically, when you stop and look fear in the face and push forward it's empowering.
Looking for great words or great quotes helps me to make it through the day, week or month. It just depends on when the challenging occasion, tries to block my path. We are all stronger than we know. Sometimes we need inspirational messages to get us over the humps of our doubts. Think about what you want to achieve, even if its just getting out of bed to spread kindness. It's all relative... every hurdle, every goal, every dream, every accomplishment. Let's lean on each other and move forward together.
Below are some of my favorite quotes from inspirational women
. I hope they can transform your day, or mood or whatever state of mind you may be in... to a better place. Above I added a video of the top 25 Best Inspirational Quotes of all time. With the new year around the corner maybe it will inspire you to do something you have always wanted to do.
“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” - Katharine Hepburn
“A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
“The way in which we think of ourselves has everything to do with how our world see us and how we see ourselves successfully acknowledged by the world.” - Arlene Rankin
“The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” - Ayn Rand
“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.” - Oprah Winfrey
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” - Maya Angelou
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” - Helen KellerMy Favorite from Maya...I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. – Maya Angelou
Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya! - Matuschka LindoMatuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
by Matuschka Lindo
Had my yearly physical last week. No, not the gyno! But we will touch upon that also. Right now I'm talking internist. It's no secret that I have always fibbed a tad bit on my height. My standard response was 5'1 and 3/4. Not really anyones business, but I guess when even your kids are taller than you and you are the shortest person in your family people begin to question. So, the truth is since about 16 years of age I have been 5'1 and 1/2. I've been happy with my height for the most part. Except gaining five pounds at this height puts you up an entire pant size. Anyway... I'm veering off topic. I go into the doctors office last week and do the standard take off my shoes, get on the cow scale and then walk over to get my height checked. I walk away from the stadiometer (had to look up what that measuring thingy was called, not going to act like I knew what it was all along) and the nurse was like, "Cool you are 5 Feet Even!" My mind hears this and I just stare at her then I not so calmly ask, "EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She has a friendly look on her face and repeats, "You are 5 Feet Tall." NO NO NO I respond with, "Let's do that again I don't think you did that right." So, we do it again. I go back under the stadiometer. (I like my new word can you tell) She responds, "Yep, 5ft even." Holy Mother of God! What happened to the other inch and a half? I am now beyond distraught, I have to be honest here. If I'm going to lose an inch and a half can't it come off my ass! This is so horrible. You may think it's funny but my eyes were filled with water. Why... Why did no one tell me I would start shrinking so early. Also, there's a connection between Height and Health!
I am truly so upset about by new height. And I do think that's a lot of height loss. I plan to get it checked out. I will keep you posted on my shrinkage. That sounds weird, doesn't it coming from a woman? I don't think I have had my height checked in 5 years, so maybe I have steadily been losing and I just hit the grand total last week. But to be safe I think a bone density test is needed. I'm Pissed! Now while I am on the subject of shrinkage let's just put it all out there! We joke about male shrinkage. EVERYBODY TALKS about MALE shrinkage. Seriously, I found a video with a panel of men and male doctors openly talking and actually naming the excuse for male shrinkage, if you can believe that. It's called Sympathetic Nerves in the male that make their penis shrink. WHAT? You have got to be joking? Here's the video, you have to see it to believe it. CLICK HERE!
Again, why I ask? Why do we not talk about female shrinkage? By the way, I am no longer talking height ladies. This is no time to be prude and squeamish, this is serious. Who knew that we had shrinkage? I never knew.... did you? Maybe.... just maybe, an aunt, a grandma, a mom, someone could have said, "Oh ya, by the way around 40 something it's almost like you become a virgin again." Not only do you DRY UP you SHRINK UP too! Ladies welcome to the world of less estrogen known as Vaginal Atrophy, also called Atrophic Vaginitis.
No you are not a freak because sex is painful. And NO, do not believe him when he says it's probably because he is packing a bigger package. Your box is shrinking and you need help, and it's normal. Don't fret, here is the good news. Regular sexual activity, with or without a partner, can help you maintain healthy vaginal tissues. Wait What! Is that good news? I mean I think it is? I guess it depends on exactly how much sexual activity we are talking about. Yikes! I have no desire to enter the land of rabbits in Watership Down HA. Well, the best way to find out is to go to your gynecologist and just get it taken care of the right way. I also recommend getting your moisturizers or lubricants from the doctor to be effective. But in a pinch or until your appointment crisco or olive oil works. I'm not kidding. Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
by Matuschka Lindo
The parties, the office goodies, the girls happy hours... come on it's the Holidays. I mean, you only live once. We deserve to have a good time and let our hair down. What's a few drinks? It's Christmas time... we are celebrating! The odds are against us anyway, statistics show during the holidays we are going to gain a few pounds
right? So, we can take it off in January no worries!
STOP! STOP! STOP! I don't know about you? But this is the crap I have been telling myself for years. I give myself permission to overindulge. I actually encourage myself to do it and my friends! We all back each other up in this pursuit of holiday binging. I'm tired of doing this. It's NEVER worth it and nothing ever tastes as good as fitting into my clothes. Let's stop saying this crap to ourselves. We are 40 something and over. This shit we pack on during the holidays won't come off overnight no matter how much you wish it away. And I don't know about all of you... but I am getting shorter as I get older dammit and at midlife it's like pulling teeth to get even five pounds off. So let's look at this with a True Midlife New Lifestyle Mentality!
First, let's start with the mind games. We don't deserve to eat or drink whatever. Our bodies are breaking down and it can no longer handle the quick fix of January weight loss. It's time for tough love. Don't wait to diet or start eating healthy. Do it NOW! That way when you do fall of your regiment and have that cookie, extra serving, or great cocktail, you will not be adding to an already caloric day. This way you can maintain over the holidays instead of doing damage and EAT EXTRA CLEAN come January. Sugaring down after weeks of eating bad is a painful detox for the midlife body. I recommend picking your poison. If I am going to a holiday party I plan what my body is craving and what my cheat will be. For the record it's usually alcohol for me! (sad but true) Pie vs. Manhattan = Manhattan, Bread vs. Cabernet = Cab, Baked Macaroni & Cheese vs. Dirty Martini = Goose wins! But those are my choices. You need to make yours. The key is to choose and not do a trifecta. You can't do the glass of wine, the mac & cheese and the pie. Not even for one night. It takes days to work that off and hit ground zero at midlife. If you choose alcohol like me then know your alcoholic calories.
Yes, that alcoholic calorie counter can be depressing, but knowledge of food and drink is key at our age!
hard thing to throw into this holiday weight discipline mode is exercise. With work, taking care of household logistics, shopping, and entertaining... seriously who has time to work out. A friend of mine told me about Barre3
(Thank you Kristi). I don't have time to go to a gym right now, I am slammed. But if I can do a 10 minute workout using an app or my computer and it can help keep me toned and fit... count me in! They also have 30 minute and 50 minute work outs. All I am saying is put your mind in a positive place. You are worth more than any cookie, carb, or drink. When you tell yourself you are worth it and that you have the will power to walk away, you will start to believe it. If you are like me... you told yourself all that junk in the first paragraph for years. Therefore it will take time, be kind to yourself when you slip up. Midlife is a time to take care of yourself. Treat yourself the way you treat others. Enjoy your holidays and leave every event full of confidence instead of food! I'm struggling right there with you don't worry, we can do this!Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
by Matuschka Lindo
There is something nice about having your teenage daughter set the Thanksgiving table, and your teenage son vacuum the entire house, and everyone helping to make the traditional family holidays special. The Christmas decorations went up in an hour this year with everyone unloading and unpacking and me just arranging. Black Friday came and went and I laid in bed and drank my coffee until about 10:00am watching the news and not worrying about a shopping list. I haven't seen the inside of a classroom on a holiday in years. No treats to take or activity to help with. Welcome to the land of Midlife Holiday Magic. That to do list bubble of holiday activities finally bursts when your kids hit the teen years. As your kids get older its the perfect opportunity to create saner simpler holidays. They know you are "santa". They don't need the latest greatest Elmo where there are only 1,000 made. They don't need the tallest tree or to bake every cookie recipe or to clean out and carve pumpkins. Wipe your brow, get off the hamster wheel and put the super hero cape away. We did it! They have great memories and traditions to pass on. Let go of the chaos and focus on new rules, roles and overall holiday expectations with adult children.
Yes, there is that nostalgic part of you that misses the excitement of those little chubby faces running down the stairs at five in the morning to see if "santa" came. But let me rewind the entire holiday rat race for you starting with Halloween. Franticly searching for the last minute costumes for the costume parade. Buying pumpkins and carving kits that don't even frickin' work. Cleaning out the pumpkin slime and breaking every nail. Sweating over a turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes so you can hear them all whine how they don't like this icky food. You slaved over thanksgiving dinner and all they really want is kraft macaroni and cheese from the blue box. Throw in the damn pilgrim or indian costume for the thanksgiving feast at school. Then let's not forget about the top ten list of gifts that they want and all over the news all you hear is limited edition, or only a handful made. So what do we do... we go form a line to get that must have toy at the crack of dawn or if we can afford it way pay tripple the price online. Then on Christmas day we watch them open that toy to the complaint of it being the wrong color or that it was Laa Laa not Dipsy that was their favorite. Hold on let's back up...
What the hell were we thinking letting our kids watch Teletubbies. What the hell was that show? How did we fall for a show where the sun cooed, these stuffed martian looking oversized characters all just giggled and the only word I can recall was Eh-Oh! I must have been sleep deprived to let my children watch this or stoned. WTH!!! Yes, much of it will be missed, (kinda-sorta-maybe-not) but at midlife it may be time to let certain traditions go and make room for new ones. Here are some meaningful holiday traditions
you can incorporate if you never had a chance to create some or if you need some new ones to experience with older children in the house.
Gifts... this is also a nice transition now that the real "santa" is exposed and accepting credit where credit is due. I also believe it all happens with the Grace of God, so we can't take all the credit. It's nice to get them what they need and surprise them with a thing or two. Need help? Here's a great 2014 gift guide for teenagers.
(I think the guide is great for both sexes) Now, the joy is shopping with them and throwing in a lunch or a dinner for great quality time. The smile and excitement are still there... maybe not from chubby cheeks running down stairs. But from shaven faces with chiseled features or glossed lips with twinkling eyes sporting mascara. The children are older but they still have a way of expressing their joy and your heart still melts at the sight. You see... the Miracle of Midlife Holidays is that the gift comes full circle. The memories outlast and survive all the material stuff. No amount of commercialization can tarnish the holidays at midlife. We ran that race already and even though we fell for a lot of it, the family traditions ran a steady pace along side all the hype. In the end the family and the spirit of the season are all that's left. It's a beautiful thing! We are Blessed.*Above photo courtesy of iStockKeep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...