by Matuschka Lindo
I've talked about this before, things you should wean off of at a certain age. I have to revisit this for several reasons. One, there is a new list that just came out, saying you can wear a bikini until you are 48 and a speedo until you are 26. That actually sounds reasonable to me, anything after those ages ewwww. Go ahead, read the other fun stuff CLICK HERE
! Two, I have seen things the last few months that have left my jaw on the floor. Not only because I was shocked but also because I was totally disgusted. The things I am about to bring up should not be done at all for heaven's sake, regardless of age. As I have stated before, age is a state of mind. I do things like chinese fire drills in my car (holy crap is that politically correct to say that anymore) with my children that I should not be doing at 40-something. But I don't care! It's fun, they laugh, and life is too short. But the following are just offensive.
There are dentist who stress to floss once a day and to get it in whenever and wherever you can. I say NO NO NO! Freestyle flossing is just nasty! Now that they have combined a toothpick style tool with string floss... common courtesy of when not to floss has crossed the courtesy barrier. This is a constant fight with a member of my family. My husband loves to floss he does it several times a day. Dentists even say to pass the time watching TV. I draw the line at flossing in our bed at night watching TV. I'm gagging as I type! This is wrong on so many levels even though dentists say yes!
I know this freestyle flossing is becoming the norm through-out society because I see those angled flosser tools everywhere! On a bench outside a coffee shop. On the floor by the gas pump at the gas station. Particles are flying so just stop it! I'm sorry this is a bathroom ONLY event. Not up for discussion!
Earthing is a touchy one. What is earthing you ask? Walking barefoot, or specifically walking barefoot on any natural surface. There are quite a few studies that have proven that walking barefoot is really healthy.
I walk barefoot at home or on my deck, at a pool or on the beach. But walking across the street and into your neighbors house barefoot. Nope! Once you stop doing play dates you should not walk over to your neighbors house barefooted. A mid-life adult needs to keep their shoes on when entering another home, on an airplane, or out in public in general. I know some people ask you to take shoes off. Okay maybe, if socks are on. But the hygiene issue of walking barefoot on floors where one is not aware of their cleaning practices puts me over the edge. Maybe this is just my phobia/problem? I vote shoes on.
Obviously I could go through quite a list of you should never... but it's all subjective. So lastly, hang on to the wrapper when you are finished with your gum. Be a grown up and throw your gum in the trash
for pete's sake! Dont's stick it on the soap dish in the shower, don't put it on the side of your plate for re-chew purposes. GEEZ NO! If it has to leave your mouth, you are done with the gum! And guess what? Gum sticks and no one wants to scrape it out of the trash either. Put that gum in paper before you throw it away!
Are there other actions that people feel are okay? You see them do something and you think... You've got to be joking! Please do tell.*Above photo courtesy of c100Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is..
by Matuschka Lindo
Getting through Halloween is the beginning of the Trick for a midlife girl like me. It's the beginning of my teetering like a seesaw until the end of the year. It starts with when do I buy the Halloween candy. Really Matuschka? Let's be honest here, if you buy that candy before the afternoon of October 31, you will eat every single piece of candy you buy! So begins my good angel, bad angel conversation into the Holiday Season. The pendulum starts swinging at Halloween with the treats and for a mid-lifer this is worse than a poisoned apple. Sugar is poison in so many ways, not only does it make us fat, cause diabetes, and is as addictive as many drugs. It also ages you faster
once you hit about 35. I repeat, step away from the candy! They say giving up sugar can take 20 years off you! Wowza!
Moving along, now looming is Thanksgiving. Not only does this open the floodgates of the food festival in my mind. It also is the seasonal transition of food and drink. Yes, I am a seasonal eater and drinker. Thanksgiving brings in a new harvest of roasted vegetables, casseroles, pot roasts and just heavier meals in general. The libations change to accommodate the more festive season and cold winter nights. Bye bye Grey Goose on the rocks and to all my white liquor and wine. Hello Old Fashion Manhattans, Scotch and red wines! It's like I'm a bear getting ready for winter hibernation? What the hell is wrong with me. I can't keep eating and drinking like this as I get ever so closer to 50-something. Studies say when you have a drink, you burn less fat, and more slowly than usual, because the alcohol is used as fuel instead. GRRRRR Oh, it gets better! Knocking back the equivalent of about two martinis can reduce your body's fat-burning ability by up to 73%. I've had to limit my alcohol to two drinks on an evening out. I am becoming a light weight as I age and that is not uncommon… alcohol's effect changes as people age.
My battle of good and evil from October to December takes the hardest plunge as Christmas rolls in. If you are wondering there are only 63 more days until Christmas... GULP. I love to bake, I love cookie parties (Can't wait Amanda) and I love all the Christmas parties. Everything about it is magical to me even at mid-life. Dressing up for the evening, taking a great bottle of wine to share, hearing about gifts that spouses are getting to surprise their loved one… It's all so fun and celebratory. So how? How am I supposed to say no to all the holiday desserts that are seasonal. The Christmas cookies, or special Christmas cake? I'm already struggling with the pumpkin spiced lattes and the salted carmel mocha's. How do you enjoy the season and not fall off the damn seesaw! Tell me grinch! Here's an article that says we can enjoy the holidays and all the treats if we focus on these few tricks...
There you have it, my October - December confession. Regardless of all the advice above we are going to eat some candy. The least I can do is guide you through this sticky situation. Below are candy recommendations from The American Council on Exercise. Hmmm not sure where my Butterfingers and Snickers belong?Bad
- Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: This Halloween favorite packs a whopping 105 calories each, and 50 of those calories come from fat.
- Mounds Snack Size: Dark chocolate and coconut sound like they could be healthy, but guess again. The first ingredient is corn syrup, and even the snack size bar contains 80 calories, half of them from fat.
- Almond Joy Snack Size: Once again, you could fool yourself into thinking almonds are healthy, but these little bars also contain 80 calories apiece, half from fat.
- Kit Kat Snack Size Bars: Break off just three pieces and you'll consume 210 calories, 90 calories from fat, which makes it one of the higher caloric bars and also high in fat.
Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
- Starburst Original Fruit Chews: Like many fat-free products, this candy is loaded with sugar. But, you can enjoy nine pieces for 150 calories and no fat (but watch out for the 22 grams of sugar).
- Dum Dum Pops: This may not be at the top of everyone's favorites list, but don't rule it out. At 59 calories per serving size—or three lollipops—the Dum Dum is a low-caloric sugary treat you can enjoy for hours.
- Tootsie Roll: The chewy Tootsie Roll also can take a long time to eat, so enjoy those 140 calories, with 30 calories from fat.
- Brach's Candy Corn: This Halloween tradition is a sugar bomb with salt. But you can grab a large handful—26 pieces to be exact—and gobble up 150 calories with no fat.
- Jolly Rancher Hard Candy: Enjoy three Jolly Ranchers and still stay below 100 calories with no fat.
- Peeps Marshmallow Pumpkins: These little marshmallows are mostly piles of sugar. But they're still lower in calories and fat than most chocolate treats. And since it might be difficult to eat eight (one serving) at once, you will probably get less calories, fat and sugar. If you do eat eight, you'll get 130 calories, no fat and a whopping 29 grams of sugar.
- York Snack Size Peppermint Patties: If you'd rather satisfy your chocolate craving than try to substitute other sugary treats, then reach for a Peppermint Patty. It scores better than most chocolate bars with 50 calories and 1 gram of fat.
by Matuschka Lindo
Multitasking makes the mind go go go. So much so that it is hard to shut down. Last week I slept minimal amount of hours and I was on social media quite a bit and now my head is just full of pretty useless but reflective information from surfing. Yep, stuff that I want to share with others. Nothing profound but just loose odds and ends floating through my brain. At midlife I haven't figured everything out yet, still waiting for when all the wisdom kicks in. Waiting... waiting... waiting... Oh well, let's just move forward with some observances. One of my favorites is as you get older NOBODY CARES about the small stuff. You're cute outfit, your new car, your travel plans for the next year, etc. We all like to listen and look but an hour or two later it's forgotten. I mean who has time to care about all the details of another persons life? I don't... As long as I like something I'm good with it. Even my husband gives me the occasional are you going to wear that? I'm like, " Yes I am buddy and it would behoove you to stop with that question." He then gets 'the look' and we walk out with what I chose to wear for ME! As my friend Dee Dee Blaze told me, whenever you get married you are telling the world this is the best I can do. So Malcolm, I'm the best you could do babe regardless of my outfit. Truly at midlife... what you do, should be for you and for the best of your loved ones, that's my point. Why do you care what anyone else thinks. Anna Chui tells it like it is with these Life Lessons.
What we do care about and should want to know is all the information we can get that makes our life easier. Yes we want to know what diet you are on. (ahhh well not if you've been on it for 6 months and you are still the same weight) We want to know the awesome doctor you went to for the stuff we don't want to talk about like hemorrhoids, bunions, cataracts, thyroid problems, lasik and so on. We also like just amazing do it yourself info which is why Pinterest
is so popular for our generation. Easy dishes, decorating ideas, party ideas, fashion etc. It's like playing house for more mature wiser (still waiting) ladies. The bonus is we can pretend when we pin something. In truth we are hoping the pins become reality which is what has sucked us into just pinning stuff. I believe it's healthy, we don't ever want to stop dreaming or hoping. Pinterest is the box of keepsakes we use to hide under our beds as little girls. Now it's on our computers where we are less likely to lose at mid-life.
As 40 and over something women our most shared and coveted bit of stuff is advice on what to do with everyday products or STUFF in our homes . Crazy but true! The hidden items in your home that can do the most amazing things. NOW THAT is what we mid-lifers really care about. Tell the truth when you find out everything hydrogen peroxide can do you can hardly wait to tell a friend and try it. You will blast that out faster than letting everyone know you got a hysterectomy! You know it's true! Why because you know they'll tell someone what they heard from you... and so on, and so on and so on. It's like Thoroughly Modern Millie and the soy sauce, or my Big Fat Greek Wedding and windex. Useful uses for everyday items is our true midlife obsession. Why we would rather test toothpaste out on a pimple than acne medicine is beyond me. But that's the type of Stuff
that matters. Besides it makes life much easier to focus on this simple stuff. Here is the latest great tip I found for the Foam thingy on Hangers
.Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
by Matuschka Lindo
Sitting in the emergency room I decided to write this new blog. I started one on Saturday but I can't even follow that mindset at this time. I thought it was appropriate to write about aging parents and having to cope with all that entails at mid life. It's 11:30 pm as I write this, so hopefully I will re-read before I post or the typos could be disastrous. Let's see... technically I should say yesterday since it's almost midnight. Lordy I'm tired. Okay here it goes, yesterday afternoon my dad developed acute amnesia. This 70 something super dad of mine, that to this day still travels the country playing softball for a senior league just lapsed into a series of forgetfulness out of the blue. He woke up totally fine then as the day progressed he could not remember taking a television to the repair shop, he didn't remember he shaved, didn't know the date, day or year. He didn't remember talking to me or pretty much anything that happened the last 48-72 hours. As he continues to get tested in the ER he is regaining some of his memory. It got me to thinking. I have entered that stage of life where our parents start a slow decline. Technically at midlife we are all starting a slow decline. But watching the people who raised you… your parents, decline well... it's heart wrenching. Getting old has it's own challenges. Dealing with aging parents, I have no words for what I am feeling but I did find some great strategies by Martha Beck!
They have just told us they are admitting my father to monitor him throughout the night. He seems to be regaining even more of his memory as we move into morning. I have never seen anything like this. They say it could be something called Transient Global Amnesia
. All the health stories I have done and I have never heard of this. Not sure this is what my father has, as we have no true diagnosis yet just waiting. Makes me think we need to be careful what we say to our parents when they repeat themselves. Even before it gets as bad as today got. I always try to be patient with my parents because they were so overly patient with me and still are to tell you the truth. As I reported to the doctor my dads events of the day, I was just running through the craziness matter-of-factly in the emergency room. Then I looked over; out of the corner of my eye, and saw a tear roll down my dads face. I stopped and continued my recitation with care and respect of my dads feelings. I was in a panic yes, but so was he and I forgot that. I can't imagine what this healthy, amazingly athletic and independent man must be feeling as we all talk about him like he isn't coherent. Here are 8 things NOT to say to your aging parents.
My brother, mother and I sat in that room contemplating how we needed to share more information during this transition of life. This was reality and we had to face it head on. Earlier in the evening I didn't have my parents doctors information and it was a frantic mess getting numbers and necessary details on our way to the hospital. I believe my dad will snap out of this and that it will all get fixed but we are going to have to make some changes. We discussed having him document how he pays his bills and does his accounting. We plan to start gathering estate information and medical info etc. We need to plan on old age as a family. This is a touchy subject but I would rather hash it out between family than getting the courts involved when it's too late. I have no idea where all my parents documents are, nor do most of us adult children. Forbes lays it out pretty nicely in this article about the 4 Financial Issues you need to discuss with aging parents
. I'm going to wind-down this blog, as they are getting ready to roll my dad into a room so he can get an MRI in the morning. But I want to share the positives. We started talking about being more prepared. We had a few laughs with my dad as he slowly started regaining some memory. And this is the honest to God truth. When the third nurse came in and took vitals and hooked my dad up we realized this was to be our main nurse. As he walked out the door my brother, my mom and I all looked at each other and thought wow he's so nice and handled my father perfectly. Then I said, "Shoot I can't remember his name." My brother said, "Me either." My dad looked at all of us and said, "Derrick, his name is Derrick and you all have me in this bed and I seem to be the only one that can REMEMBER!" Say Prayers for my Poppi... Even when he's not doing so well he still has a sense of humor. I am truly blessed! Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
by Matuschka Lindo
People always say to me... "Too bad you don't make money for all those meetings you attend." Or, "You could have a great full time job instead of all the volunteering you do." My favorite is, "You need to learn to say no!" My question to them is what are you doing with your time midlife and beyond. Many times at midlife you reach a point where you look into the mirror and ask... What am I doing with my life? Is that you? Are you stuck with what to do? Depressed? Feel like you are lost or in a rut? VOLUNTEER! You can play bridge, golf, tennis, do lunches or shop all day everyday and you will never feel as good as people who give back and volunteer. If you have ever volunteered you don't need a study or research to tell you how good it makes you feel inside. In case you are a skeptic, research out there proves a strong relationship between volunteering and health: those who volunteer have lower mortality rates, greater functional ability, and lower rates of depression later in life than those who do not volunteer. No surprise there! There are Health Benefits
to getting of your arse and helping others!
Volunteering can help you:
- Make important networking contacts.
- Learn or develop skills.
- Teach your skills to others.
- Enhance your résumé
- Gain work experience.
- Build self-esteem and self-confidence.
- Improve your health.
- Meet new people.
We all know there are two sides to volunteering. I volunteer more of my time because I can't stroke the big check and I strategically can find the time. I also believe I have specific skills I can donate to the organizations I work with. If you can't volunteer the time right now maybe you can donate. Many a times the question looms whether time or money is more needed by charitable organizations. With the recent economic hardships it comes down to maximizing resources. Whether it's a volunteer's time or a donation, organizations can't afford to waste either. According to the National Center for Charitable Statistics (NCCS), more than 1.5 million nonprofit organizations are registered in the U.S. This number includes public charities, private foundations, and other types of nonprofit organizations, including chambers of commerce, fraternal organizations and civic leagues. Cant decide which one? You can evaluate charities through Charity Navigator
My advice is to follow your heart. Then when you decide on what charities... do your homework before donating your time or your money. My heart is with kids, especially kids and education. My top charities that I engulf all my time and energy deal with children. They include my children's schools, Cardinal Glennon Children's Hospital, and The Magic House, one of the top Children's Museums in the country. If you live in St. Louis you may not realize what all this museum does for our community. If you don't want to take the time to research a charity. The Magic House is a great place to start. They are celebrating their 35th anniversary. Look at all the magic that they have shared with children through out the years. CLICK HERE!
This year they are trying to raise $350-thousand dollars for 35 years. In an effort to continue its dedication of inclusion and service to those children in the St. Louis community who have the fewest opportunities. About 52-thousand kids visit the magic house every year and 57% of them don't have to pay because they receive title 1 funding which is the mark of childhood poverty. There are 65 FREE family nights a year for underserved or special populations of people in need. This is all thanks to volunteers.The year is quickly coming to an end. If you don't have a special place that you lend support to every year…start with the Magic House. Then in 2015 think real hard on what is important to you and what really touches your heart! Your time and gifts will come back tenfold... I promise!
*To Donate to the Magic House and help them reach their goal this year
Click the link below:https://www.magichouse.org/donation/donation.php
You can also call the Development Office at 314.288.2516
.Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...