Have you heard about this study that says there is a "Happiness U Curve"
and that the happiness we enjoy in the early and late decades of our life plummets to the bottom of the curve in our mid 40's. (They're telling us this because???) I read some of the study and it was not very uplifting. Going on and on about how they reported in the journal of Social Science and Medicine that our level of happiness tends to not only be low... but hit ROCK BOTTOM in our mid 40's, regardless of gender or geography. Then it goes on to say after analyzing data from 2 million people in 80 countries, they can't pin point a "why" behind the consistency among such diverse populations, only that it exists.
Well, I can tell you "why"... it's the three D's. I was hanging with some friends at a bridal shower over the weekend and there were a lot of young mothers running around chasing their cute babies. We (meaning the mature members of the Three D's Casserole Club
) just admired them and thought how fun life was back then newly married, new baby, new house, new experiences; from jobs to family life. Then there is midlife, the land of the 3 D's, Divorce, Disease and Death which has us not only mentally stressed and depressed, but running casseroles all over town to help our dear friends in need. I'm not knocking it, just stating where we are in life. The point is, I don't need a study to tell me I am at the bottom of the Happiness U Curve. I want the timeline from the study showing when I will be getting out! Let's just say I am ready now
Although, the more I read the more I found the somewhat positive side of this. First, I'm getting closer to fifty so that means there is a light at the end of the U-Tunnel right? It would be nice if the study said, "Hey, at 54 you start moving back up the U." Unfortunately it does not give an exact age of when the party starts again. Second, it is encouraging to think I am supposed to end my life on a high note of happiness! For those who are closer to heading into the dip (Forget the study... take it from me that dip takes a direct pivot down around 40). You could think of ways to be pro active and to discredit these researchers, by taking control of your life and your happiness. Don't let statistics trap you, reach for the top of that curve!
I also wonder if by knowing we are all going through the same motions, mentally asking ourselves the same questions about our achievements and dissatisfactions, men and women alike. Maybe we can step back and deal with the Three D's better. Something to think about for sure. My advice, let's all try to schedule Happiness into our lives by focusing on the Three S's Sleep, Shopping and Sex.
(In that order)Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
I went to two parties over the weekend and saw large groups of different friends from throughout the years. It was such a great weekend. Both parties had a majority of friends that evolved from where my kids went to school and their extra activities. One of the fathers sitting next to me asked, "Will we still be getting together when the kids are gone?" It made me wonder.
Overall I have about seven friends I can call up for anything regardless of how much time has passed between us and we pick up right where we left off. But I believe at mid life ALL of our relationships change including our friendships
. For me personally it's about quality time and positive people. Gone are the days of meeting for lunch and bitching about everything from husbands, to box tops, to laundry, dinner etc. I mean how many more lunches and boutiques can I do on a regular basis and feel my life has purpose. Once in a while for a special occasion and for a charitable cause... fine.
Friendships take a long time to develop, therefore I am not throwing any out the window. I definitely want to keep the ones I have. My college group keeps me young. We still attempt to do things we are too old for and insist that we should, since we feel young. Age is what you want it to be and this group believes we are 20-something forever. Then there are my high school friends that we keep in contact through social media and Skype. (Technically I have seen these people in person and still do occasionally. So, no they are not casual Facebook friends
. That's a whole other warped thing to blog about. The 1,382 make believe friends... don't get me started).
Then there are the great friends I met when my kids started school. Some I know will be seasonal and I may not see them as much as my kids graduate high school. Many I will see several times at gatherings different times of year. Then there will be my revolving core. You know of course, this is all my crazy-over-analyzing-ADD-mentally-put-it-all-in-order-way to break it all down, so I can wrap my brain around it. Truth of the matter is Life Happens and I am blessed with so many aquantiances and wonderful friends.
I will have to learn to adapt to the changes around me (This includes the mid life hormonal temporary crabbers). Unfortunately some of us age and get pickier, crabbier and more opinionated. Others realize it's in God's hands and roll with the positive punches and give up the unsolicited advice. Then there are changes that are circumstantial. We may move, we may travel more, we may meet parents at our kids colleges that we can't live without. I think I will just focus on being a good friend to ALL
as Mid Life engulfs me. Chances are the rewards of doing that may be more than even I can logistically compartmentalize.
Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
The leaves are turning and crunching beneath my feet. The air is now crisp and there is a clean smell as darkness comes earlier. (scratch
) The sweaters come out, coffee tastes better, football is on and mentally I transfer my mind and taste buds to my favorite season of fall. It's that cozy time of year when I think of everything that warms me.(scratching more)
I start lighting scented candles, the smell of spices fill my senses as restaurants start to serve pumpkin everything. My drinks get darker and heavier... so long to Chardonnay and Goose.(still scratching
) Hello to the dark mysterious bouquets of complex reds and bring on the bourbon for my Old Fashioned Manhattan
. Are you with me yet? Yum Right!
Yes, I purposely put the words scratch
in there, because that is also a given when it comes to fall. At my age and if you are reading this most likely your age, we are no longer producing the moisture we need in our bodies to get through fall and winter. So for starters cut back on the long showers, and make sure they aren't steaming hot! Fall means the start of working hard to rehydrate my skin. I am not a fan of ashy or dry skin
and I suffer from eczema. So when it comes to skin care I have tried the gamete of products at ALL price ranges. Ladies let me be the one to tell you that cracked heels and scaly feet are so unattractive. Elbows and hands that are dry and feel rough are also a no no. Don't be lazy... Moisturize, Moisturize Moisturize! I am going to share my favorite inexpensive product that does the trick.
Back in June 2007 my second trip to Italy. I ran into the most beautiful lady in a town called Montecatini. This city in Italy is the largest and most famous Tuscany Spa Town. They are known for local healing waters and relaxation treatments. It was in this beautiful place that the most gorgeous and kindest woman shared her secret with me. When I asked her what she used on her skin that made her glow. She told me to throw away all the fancy products and handed me an unmarked bottle from her families olive vineyard. She told me to use it lightly all over my body and that I could even use it on my face. She promised that is all she has ever used for 60 plus years. Can I tell you she looked 45 at most! I never found out her age and why should she tell.
I took the bottle smiled and gave her a hug. We had talked for almost an hour on skin care while my husband toured the vineyard. I must admit I was skeptical and really doubted that's all she used. Besides, there was no way I was going to use the oil I had seen her put on our salads a few hours earlier for lunch, on my face. I managed to bring the bottle back to St. Louis. By October of that year, my itching and scratching was at its peak. I took out the bottle that I had put in the kitchen cabinet and rubbed it on my skin. MAGIC! It felt so good and smelled delightful. It took me a few weeks to get the nerve to put it on my face but I finally did. LOVE IT!
I now just use Extra Virgin olive oil
and throw them in spritzer bottles I buy at Target. In the fall and winter I put it on directly and it just vanishes instantly into my body. Spring and summer I put it on in the shower then rinse off before I dry. It also works on your lips, to remove make-up, as a body scrub with sea salt and oh so much more. Sarah my co-host on Three's Company recently tried it and has also noticed the difference. We are still working on Jay, but he's coming around. Just a tip I thought I would blog about.Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
Writing this isn't easy nor will keeping the weight off be easy. My friends know I keep things close to the vest when it comes to my personal life, so this is out of my comfort zone. But I want everyone else to know what it feels like to get that extra weight
off that creeps up mid life. Before I tell you how I did it, I want to prepare you for what the transformation will bring from the mouths of others.
I thought about how to pen this because when the comments first started coming they made me speechless. A foreign feeling for me I must say. Next, I got very irritated and decided I was just surrounded by ignorant people. Then, I went full circle and realized, me losing 35 pounds at the height of 5'1 in six months was drastic to someone who didn't see me every day. It reminded me of when you lose someone close and people just don't know what to say to you, causing them to open their mouths and spew accidental garbage.
Realizing they need to wrap their heads around it. I will patiently smile as people continue to monitor my eating and drinking. No harm, I thank you for the great writing material.
It all started right about the 25 lb. loss mark. An acquaintance came up and said,"Matuschka are you okay? You look like you have cancer or something." WOW REALLY? That's the first thing that came to your head when you saw me? Are you kidding? These comments came from friends, to random people I see in church, to people I see a few times a year.
"You better not lose any more weight you will start looking unhealthy."
"You are too old to weigh 100 lb. you need to put some weight back on."
"Does your doctor know what he's doing? What weight chart is he looking at?"
"You look like a 7th grader now."
"You are shrinking to an awkward size I hope you are done with that diet."
"You know, if you get any thinner you are going to have a lot of wrinkles."
"Will you be able to eat at this restaurant with your diet?"
"I never realized you were that fat?" (All time FAVORITE)
Those were some of my feel good favorites. Just for the record I am no where close to 100 lb. I am 15 lb. away from the lowest weight I should be for my height and age so my doctor is right on. I have gotten all my levels back on track so I am no longer on the verge of high cholesterol or type 2 diabetes which was unhealthy. I am not in the 7th grade even though I may act like it some times. And guess what, I am back into some old clothes I wore 10 years ago meaning... this is not a revolution it's the weight I used to be! Not to mention I was an additional 15 lb. lighter when I got married. So I'm not wasting away. I am back on track to where I want to be, but thank you for all the good thoughts, I think? Also you can eat vegetables, salad, and protein at ANY restaurant for the record. Geez! I will say... my family and close friends who have known me forever have been so supportive and there are many more who just say my favorite words. "Wow Matuschka you look great!" That's really all you need to say to someone who loses a lot of weight. All in all I think everyone means well even the spewers. Truth be told, I have been a spewer before I must confess.
Real quick! How I did it... No mystery, no pill, no quick fix. Sorry
I started with my regular Lenten fast of no alcohol and no carbs. Then when I plateaued I went to a nurse named Winnora in my gyno's office who does a program called Ideal Protein
. It basically was what I did with my Lenten fast but now I also had to take away the nuts and fruits and do their program. Over all very affordable and easy because you see results EVERY week. But you really can't cheat on this diet or it won't work. It's about keeping your pancreas at rest and retraining. This Lifestyle Diet gives you options for attainable goals and helped me to see what foods my body tolerates and metabolizes best. I told them I was letting my secret out and they told me in return I could offer a discount. So Cool! The discount is good for a week until my next blog. Call Winnora and tell her you read my Blog or heard it on Three's Company 1380 The Woman. You will get a Free Body Scan and a 10% discount off your first week of products! Don't let anyone stop you from your goals. Mid life doesn't mean you have to accept the weight gain!Give them a call tell them Matuschka sent you...314-692-8013. Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it's you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it La la la la la lalala la la...
Now you can have that running through your head all day like me, and don't act like you aren't still singing to the end!
This catchy sitcom tune is my positive midlife mantra. Mary Tyler Moore attempting to do it all and conquer her city. She gave the image of having it all under control! I am going to make it the new ring tone
for my cell phone! I think we need positive reinforcement as we go through mid life. One important way to do that is stay healthy. I just scheduled my yearly wellness visit with my internist. Now as I wait for this appointment there is a cloud of doubt over me. Why? Well, I'll tell you.
Lately, every time I go to the doctor's office I get a prescription I've seen advertised on television. One that I feel I am too young to get. Remember when you used to watch TV and sit back and think, "What is that for? Who would take that?" I remember being about ten when a Preparation H commercial came on and my mom saying, “Oh I need to remember to get some at the store.” I used to think, "Eewww, what is that?" Well, if you’ve carried a child or you are over 40... chances are you’ve used Preparation H in cream, suppository, or wipe forms, and all of the above are your best friends. I wish there were a mid life magic potion but there isn't. So the object of the game is to stay ahead of what could go wrong as we attempt to age gracefully and live life to the fullest.
When I say stay up on health, I mean everything... physicals, pap, mammograms, eye care etc. My biggest problem midlife has been weight gain. The last 7-10 years I have put on 30 pounds. For someone that is 5'1 and 3/4 on a really good day, that put me in the obese category. I wore my clothes in a very incognito way so most people never really realized how much I had gained. Well, except maybe my Talent Agent. Eeeegads the looks Sharon would give me. Or when she would call and say the client thinks you are too heavy for the ad. Yes, I got that call about 4 years ago ugh. The only reason I was mad is because it was for a dog food ad! Give me a break, it wasn't like I was modeling Calvin Klein Jeans! What does your weight matter for a dog food ad GRRRRRR. Sharon was right and she has been so supportive now that I am back on track!
It took going to my gyno one day and getting on the scale. He looked at me and basically said its time to do something. He also made me take several blood tests. I was Vitamin D deficient
which can cause many problems in the future and I was on the verge of having Type 2 diabetes
. I could have ignored all of this or missed it all together if I didn't stay on schedule with my exams. So this all happened in January of 2013 (The V8 Moment). I decided to pray about it and have the big guy upstairs give me some wisdom, guidance, and some help. So in February on Ash Wednesday the beginning of Lent I decided the only way to get this weight off and get healthy was to do it with him (God). Today I am 35 pounds lighter! Now I pray for maintenance and I thank God every day for giving me the strength!
Let me let you in on a recent discovery as I wrap this blog thing up. Since I disconnected the feeding tube from my ass and lost the weight, I get the weirdest comments. People say the strangest things and they are more obsessed about what I eat and drink than I am. I can't wait to tell you the comments I have received. Truly, you will not believe it! Next blog I will have a plethora of examples of what NOT to say to someone when they lose a noticeable amount of weight. I will also let you in on how I got all the weight off. I believe in sharing positive news to benefit others. I think staying healthy as you age is the best gift you can give yourself. Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...