There I was sitting in another hotel lobby waiting for my taxi to take me to the airport. Behold the vision in front of me, three flight attendants dressed impeccably in red and white. A-line pencil skirts with matching blazers. All three were drop dead gorgeous with hair in a bun or chignon. They were flight attendants from Virgin America… How I wish I were on that flight. Their claim to fame is that they are on a mission to make flying good again. I am here to tell you that there is no where to go but up… When I fly now, all I can think is where is the can of Lysol? There is no etiquette, there is no such thing as great service from ANY of the airlines, and travelers have forgotten that an airplane is just a travel vehicle not the basement of their home. I can go through a plethora of issues that I am appalled with, but lets’ just cover three. Paying for where you sit, bringing food onto a plane, and dress code.
Unless you are paying extra for First Class or Business Class it really just doesn’t make sense to me. Think about it? Let’s just take Southwest for this particular example. You pay extra for early boarding. Clarify where the advantage is? If I pay early… I get to get on that dirty plane first, so I can sit longer and breathe that polluted vent air. Then I get to wait and try to avoid eye contact with everyone coming on. I now have absolutely no choice in who I get to sit next too, as I have boarded and am now a sitting duck for any passenger who wants to sit next to me. Unless I desperately needed an aisle seat, (Which paying for early bird doesn't even guarantee) someone please tell me what the hell is the advantage to boarding early. I like to board in the middle somewhere in the B's. Walk through and see who looks relatively normal and hasn't brought a smorgasbord on board and decide if I want to sit next to them. Then I like to sit down and know that in 10 minutes they are preparing to take off. This seems more convenient to me and guess what… it does not cost extra! Click Here for an article that agrees with me... Earlybird check in is basically for those who just hate to sit in the middle.
I don’t even know where to start with the food. Dear travelers unless you are traveling abroad… can you not fast for 1, 2 or 4 hours. There is a reason they serve light snacks. They really don’t want you gorging during the flight. Those snacks are light not a supersize meal. Nor do they have much odor or require heavy-duty wipes. If your food item is loud to eat, requires you to lick your fingers or requires more than a single napkin IT IS NOT AIRPLANE/TRAVEL APPROPRIATE! NO to Doritos, keep the Ranch, Nachos any flavor Doritos off the damn plane. Sucking on your fingers to get the residue off from the Doritos, then reaching up to twist the air vent with those Doritos saliva combo fingers is beyond NASTY! Now for those of you that take it further than the snack. There is never a reason, let me say again... never a reason to eat chicken wings on a plane. Definitely not next to me! That is just repulsive. I love wings but THINK! Be Considerate! That is not AIRPLANE FOOD! COME ON! Knowing you have a bag full of bones and greasy wing fingers can’t seem like a good idea in the end. Shame on you for being so selfish and beyond inconsiderate. I agree with this writer, any food establishment in an airport terminal that serves seafood, deserves to go to hell. If you bring ANY seafood on a plane even a tuna fish sandwich you deserve every dirty look you get. I don't even think you should be allowed to take seafood to work! If you are one of those that heats seafood up in the office microwave... you should be shot!
Lastly, this is not a lounge. It is a public form of transportation where random people you don’t know have to be in close proximity to you. SHOWER, comb your hair, put on decent clothes. Save the shorts and the tube top for when you get to the beach. And for the Love of God keep your shoes on. Especially if you don’t have socks. What if a bunch of strangers just got in your car and took their shoes off and started eating nasty shit and touching all your knobs on the inside of the car after they licked their fingers? Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it. Well wake up travelers! Your behavior is ridiculous and just down right RUDE. Here is what I would pay extra for... $12.50 to view background check of passenger with picture before boarding, be last on plane with guaranteed overhead space, in the front of plane. $10.00 to sit in middle of the plane with passengers in business casual clothing, closed toe shoes and no eating allowed. Hell, as dirty as the chairs look now with the odor I'm afraid I would even pay extra for leather seats $8.00. As travelers I think we have some work to do when it comes to manners, appearance and common sense.
Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!
Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...