by Matuschka Lindo
Well, it's the first week of summer so it made me think of something I love to do this time of year… READ! Did I mention I can still do it without cheaters? Oh I heard all of you out there who just cursed at me. Don't worry I know I am on borrowed time with my 20/20 vision. I must confess I have turned into a book reader-slash-listener. I like to read in bed at night with a cup of tea or a yummy glass of wine. But I also like to walk or sometimes even drive and continue the book I'm reading. It completes my summer escape. Click Here
for some of the best reads for 2014 in a variety of literary genre. I am part of a book club called Bad Girls Book Club
! The name was chosen to welcome all… Meaning if you love to read come! If you don't like to read come drink and eat! If you read the book you were a good girl come share. If you didn't read that months book, bad girls are still welcome… come anyway and listen. It's a great Book Club no pressure, perfect for finicky me!
It's interesting to listen how others read. I fall in love with my characters. When I start a book, I become part of whatever family or situation I am reading about. So, I read one book at a time and I read slower the closer I get to the end. It's almost agony to leave the setting I am in and my new friends and the plot that has me riveted in the land of make believe until three or four in the morning. I have another very dear friend in book club that reads two or three books at one time. How can that be? When reading Rebecca
and you are on the Manderley Estate watching the evil and sinister Mrs. Danvers spinning her web… how can you pause and then start reading Bill O'Reilly's Killing Jesus?
You dare to leave Maxim to follow the historical events of the well known murder. How do you retrace the brutal killing of this man by roman soldiers; while at the same time, trying to justify the theft of a baby on Janus Rock? The high energy plot of The Light Between Oceans
makes you ache for Tom, Isabel and Lucy. How can you keep up with all the lies… oh the terrible lies? ARGHHH I can't do it. So which type of reader are you? A wild love affair reading book lover, or the book monogamist like me? Do tell! I found a convert blogger who went from reading one book at a time to almost ten. Here is Rachel Ann Hanley's story.
Now for those of you who don't like to read (Christy L). It's really not a big deal as long as you are exercising your mind in other ways. There is an article that states Being a Lifelong Bookworm May Keep You Sharp in Old Age
. If you have always loved to read it may slow down cognitive decline as you get older. But don't stress it's not just reading it's also writing. So choose one of the two or both because those who didn't do either, according to the study had a 48% faster memory decline. There is so much out there to read. Cook books, play books, magazines, newspapers, recipes and BLOGS! Don't panic because you aren't a book lover. Just read something else. Yes, Christy L. even baseball stats count! Go Cards!Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
by Matuschka Lindo
Whatever it is I'm not there yet! My father travels the country playing softball for a 70 and over team. I don't even look at him and think old. My mother never ever lets that word cross her lips. Maybe that's why I scratch my head when people in their 40'as and 50's are always saying they are OLD? I bring this up because I had another birthday last week and I inched ever closer to 50. What does that mean exactly? Some people feel once they hit 50 they are 'Old'. That's a scary thought to me... why? I still feel 21 inside most days. It varies really, are we talking physically or mentally. HA! Yes, I have aches and pains but I've had fewer broken bones than when I was in my 30's. In my late 20's when I had kids my hair fell out. I have healthier hair now even though there is more gray. Who says when you are old? And when do you go from 'Old' to 'Elderly'. Elderly sounds awful to me… it will take a lot of chutzpah to call me elderly! We need a new word for older than old. Senior? Advanced Age? What do you think? I'm in better shape than I've been in years? Will I really feel 'Old' just because I hit 50? Thankfully in most recent survey's people believe 'Old Age' begins at 69!
Wooohoooo! "Push it back, Push it back Wayyyyyy Back!"
My theory is that we feel old for two reasons. One, a generational gap between the millennium generation (or any generation younger than you). Secondly, the constant changes in our body as we age that we don't like so much. For me, the things that differ between us are awesome! I love to go to the basement and throw an 8 track at my teenagers and say "Hey what's this?" I usually do things like that when I can't figure out how to do something on the computer and they demonstrate to me as if I am a two year old! It's called equalizing
in the Briggs house. They catch on real quick too! Both my kids believe music from our reel to reel is better than from a cd! Also they are both appreciating vinyl after I show them how good you have to be to replay a song over and over. It's all in the wrist, the way you drop that needle baby. They'll thank me later vinyl is making a come back. I just want them to know, there is a lot I know too… that they don't! Making me wiser not old in their eyes! The best revenge is listening to music with them in the car and the new 'IN' band introduces their latest hit and my young adults are singing their hearts out. Then I break into song KNOWING EVERY WORD! You guessed it remake! Love it when that happens, they have this dumbfounded look like… Wait you know this song? Ya punk I do! I knew it before you were born! Here are 50 things only people around 50 or over understand!
Where was I? Lost my train of thought. I am older this week heee. Oh yes, the second reason we tend to feel old, the ever changing and aging body. You know… your birth age and your biological age don't always coincide. Another reason not to fall into the I'm old trap. You could be younger than you think! Take a Biological Age Quiz by Clicking HERE.
No wonder I don't feel old, my biological age is 28! SWEAR! It's an interesting quiz and takes only 2 minutes but goes through what you eat, how you sleep and how stressed you are etc. Which makes me a firm believer that 50 is nowhere close to old. Now if you don't take care of yourself, old may very well be in your near future. Either make a change or feel old. It's up to you. Besides if 69 is the new old, do you really want to go through 20 years of your life saying, "I'm old" as early as 50? What the hell are you going to say when you're 69 and you really are entering old age? Everything I read throws middle age between 45-65 so drop the 'Old'
and enjoy the blessings of a likely life expectancy beyond 80. Plato is now wrong in his definition of Advanced Age.The Official Definition of Old Age:
Old age comprises "the later part of life; the period of life after youth and middle age . . . , usually with reference to deterioration" In the 4th century BC, Plato divided the human lifespan into six phases, the last two constituting "Old Age" (the ages of 62-79) and "Advanced Age" (80-). The last phase, he noted, "is one that, fortunately, few attain."
*Above Photo by Acid Cow
Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
by Matuschka Lindo
Hi… um… just give me a sec… Yes, I know you were in my wedding. It’s coming, just hold on. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRS 'S' Stephanie That's It! Hi, how are you! I miss you… 'So much, that I flippin’ forgot your name!' It’s truly embarrassing that I can’t remember peoples names anymore. It’s weird, I just go blank. I know we have talked about memory loss as we get older, but that’s the multi tasking over stimulated phenomena. I'm talking basic names! Names of good friends, classmates, family etc. The name blank is just not right. To be at a family reunion and look across the room at a relative and think! Damn that’s what’s his face. Oh hell he’s walking my way… please please let it come! PLEASE! Name Gods don't let me down. Nothing! So, it goes something like this… Hi, how is my favorite Uncle? (Pathetic!) What is it about names that just POOF vanish from our minds? Might I add, at the absolute worst times? I have introduced friends that I have known for years at a party with the wrong name. I knew there had to be a good explanation for this, and apparently, forgetting someone’s name is a common misstep. Studies show our brains are not really wired to remember names
, according to a psychology professor from Northwestern University! AMEN I say, Amen! Now the next time you go to an event and you see the person checking everyone in, be nice. Cut those people some slack, especially (if it's me dammit) if they look over forty. Go up and immediately say your name even if you've known them since you were in diapers. They are probably so stressed out, knowing that the odds of forgetting their neighbor of 20 years is a high probability!
Do you think that’s why I call my son by my dogs name and my husband by my sons name, or is that something entirely different? Is that forgetfulness or more of a freudian slip where the name I shout out is who they are acting like? Maybe that’s similar to when I am writing and I forget how to spell a random word like 'school'. I stop and think wait is there an ‘H’ in school? Or wait what is in-between the ‘S’ and the ‘H’? Another word mind-blank is when I am writing a word like seen. Is it scene or seen? I just can't remember, then I write it out 5 different ways and see what looks good. Holy Cow! Talk about brain malfunction and wasted time! Forgetting how to spell common words is a problematic fault that can start crumbling as early as when you hit your Thirty’s. YIKES. Many people forget how to spell the most common of words like ‘hour' and ‘apple’. Click HERE to read more
, and get a good laugh on common memory mistakes that can start early, according to recent research.
Numbers are also quite the joke. When I call information (411) I better have an army around me. One person remembers the area code, the next person the prefix, finally someone has to remember the last four digits. Lord knows I can't remember. I’m screaming the numbers out loud and trying to listen to the recording at the same time. That must count for something. Just the other day I was at a car dealership and they needed the number to my license plates. I ran out looked at the 6 number/letter combo. Ran back inside started to recite the letters and went BLANK after the second one. The 23 year old on the other end of the counter looked at me in a way that made me want to slap him. Hard!
There is a name I will never forget. It's a name and word all in one and it's the first one that ever came out of my mouth. Poppy!
With Father's day coming I wanted to say no matter what happens to my brain or mind as I age and things slowly deteriorate, all I have to do is look into my dads eyes and see the love that pours from them every day to know he's my poppy.
I can look at pictures from every stage of my life and his eyes are twinkling with so much love for me. I am an official Merriam-Webster definition of a Daddy's Girl. This Sunday take a trip down memory lane with your father or the memory of your beloved dad. Refresh your memory with stories, pictures or old letters. My dad is the best I could ever ask for, Love You Poppy! I'll end this with 21 of the Best Dad Movies!
Just in case you were looking for some good entertainment this Father's Day!Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
by Matuschka Lindo
Well, this will be a first. Blogging about a response to one of my blogs. Last week I blogged on dating at midlife and it struck a nerve with some males. One persistent one reached out and caught my attention. I talked to him in-depth on the phone and his belief is at midlife all the single ladies hold the cards. But he truly believes they still don't know what they want even at midlife. Is this true? The old saying that girls don't REALLY want Nice Guys… One article says Not So!
*My reader claims this is what women post on dating sights:I want someone who is honest, respectful, a great sense of humor and has character.I want someone who is financially stable and no drama.Someone who can make me laugh and enjoy the quiet moments as well as crazy fun times.
*But believes this is what women go after in reality… even at midlife:Someone who is not truthful, who is arrogant and is pompous.Women look for confident, charismatic, dominant and risk taking men.
I think we have all confused cocky and egotistical for confident at some point in our lives. But is there a trap that many women keep falling for? Are the nice guys too nice? I think women want a happy medium but in what language do we express that to the midlife single male. My reader states that for men it's more difficult because of social media. Now before you even meet the person, you go window shopping on the internet with dating sites and vainly shoot people down by looks alone. Then you google and research them. What do they do, how much they make, where do they live and you size up the potential candidate before they ever get into the gate! He states if a man isn't healthy, hasn't done adventurous things by midlife and doesn't have an exceptional income, he better plan on being the good friend rather than the desired partner. Say it isn't so ladies? Surely you now know there is no perfect prince. The rules change for both men and women at midlife. Here is a great 101 on dating for midlife by Mr. Dave Singleton
, an award-winning writer and columnist for Match.com since 2003, who is also the author of two books on dating and relationships.
Finally, I asked my anonymous male reader to give me his insights on what he believes single midlife men are thinking out there. This paragraph is from his mouth to my fingertips. Ladies don't spill all your garbage on the first night. They don't want your resume, and (hint) the Ego Maniac is the one that gives you his financial resume up front (Run honey Run). Many men are now on a time clock not the women. Many want sex, companionship, and a care taker. If you want the man that moves slower maybe go for the man who listens more and doesn't talk so much about himself. Sex on the first date brings up a high question mark to the man looking for a serious relationship. Do reveal any serious health issues, family structure, kids, etc., on the first date to be fair. The last advice from my reader is don't bring the baggage from the guy that broke your heart into the new dating scene. Not every guy is a cheating, lying, groping mean asshole.
I would like to say that I believe if you respect yourself and have your own confidence you will mirror what you feel inside and find that person. I'm not saying I think it's easy. But even in marriage I find if you don't love yourself first and respect yourself it's hard to even find success in a marriage, much less going out there on a date with a stranger. Here is a great article to help women attract Quality Men.
To my male reader who put himself out there with me on the phone, thank you for letting me share your thoughts. I hope what you believe isn't the majority but it does make us all think, which is the reason I shared your words. We all get bored at times in our lives. So sometimes a really sweet guy who is very nurturing and very secure, and overly helpful may at some point seem boring. Then women get diverted and get interested in the high-achieving, high-energy man who may even be a bit chauvinistic. A question to women dating… Can you be attracted to the man who is sensitive and touchy-feely, who may not be as ambitious? Or are you more interested in the power and status man who doesn't have time to show compassion but he can throw you his unlimited credit card? Hmm… I think feeling alone in a relationship is worse than being alone. So unless a dog can fill your void. Make sure you know what you want out of a relationship.Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...