by Matuschka Lindo
For me the worst part about peri-menopause is the menstrual cycle roller coaster. One month I think I should take out stock in tampons. Then three months later I'm throwing all my tampons away because I tell myself its over! Not sure what mother nature was thinking? To go 3-4 months without a period, which gets your hopes up... then BAM to bring it back, like the flood gates from hell have opened, is pure evil! I read in a More magazine once that peri-menopause is like puberty in reverse. So I guess Instead of gearing up and making you feel all weird inside as your body prepares to carry children. It is now sputtering like an old clunker on it's last leg as it tries to wind down. The thought of dealing with a sputtering menstrual cycle makes me cringe! Especially when the Today Show on NBC
just announced that peri-menopause/menopause can last up to 14 years.
That report just brings out the Foghorn Leghorn in me... remember that big bird from Looney Tunes? "What's that! I say, what's that their talking about 14 YEARS?" "Hey BOY tell me... I say, I say, tell me they must be joking boy!" Oh but it gets better. The extra years in a recent study fell on women of color and hispanics. Caramba I'm Both
! My head was spinning when I was listening to the report. I'm getting a bad feeling about this. You know I was one of the one in a million to get the chicken pox twice. I really don't want to be a one in a million to have a period until I'm 70. So lets break this down.
Premature menopause is anything before 40 years of age. Peri-menopause is between 40-55 on average. Menopause is when a woman is free of her menstrual period for one complete year the average age is about 51. Finally post-menopause, which is basically another name for almost HOME FREE. Is when you are done with the bloody nightmare of the sputtering period but could still have night sweats, vaginal dryness and other symptoms. Below is a graph so you can kind of figure out where you are when you look under Principal Criteria and Menstrual Cycle on the graph. Changes in your flow could mean the end of the reproductive stage, you may still not be in peri-menopause yet. Go ahead and scream sweetie... I'm with you the word variable in the diagram causes major frustration. Variable could mean y-e-a-r-s.
Let's get back to focusing on what we can't change, abnormal periods during midlife. This is something you need to stay on top of because there are Different Types of Irregular Periods
and for the most part it's just part of the winding down process. If you ever are questioning vaginal bleeding between periods or heavy vaginal bleeding go get it checked out immediately. It can be something minor like stress but don't second guess it or self diagnose. Go get any type of questionable vaginal bleeding
checked out immediately. I guess my final thoughts are to hold onto those tampons until you hit the 365 day mark. (My year will probably be a leap year 366 days) I know someone who went 7 months then restarted so relax and go with the flow
... this journey may take awhile. "Bloody Hell! I say, I say, Bloody Hell!"Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...*Graph above from Stages of Reproductive Aging Workshop STRAW+10
by Matuschka Lindo
It's kind of a relief really. Lent that is... it makes me buckle down and refocus on what my priorities are, what is important in life, and what changes I may need to make to try to be a better person. Ash Wednesday is almost like the first day of school in the fall. You dread it a little bit because all the unscheduled fun of a chaotic summer is now coming to a halt. But secretly inside there is a calming that you are getting back to a routine and getting back on schedule. Lent is the same for me, it's time to get back on track and get my soul ready for a good tune up. Midlife is really a key turning point when it comes to taking a good look at who you are and slowly chipping away at the mystery of yourself. Many spiritual advisors believe that the richest years for spiritual growth are between the ages of 40 and 55. Makes sense I guess. I think it coincides with the time in ones life when you figure out you actually have NOTHING figured out. You reach that stage in life where you realize that it's half way over and you are wondering... is this it? Midlife is also unfortunately the time for many, where a crisis has brought you to your knees. So yes, I would say they are right that's, probably a good age span for spiritual growth.
Which again brings us to why Lent is a good time to get your game face on and grow spiritually. To do this it's like any other fine tuning of the body... self discipline and self denial are key. They make you stronger and take your focus off of SELF DESIRES which can sometimes be crutches. Talk to any athlete, businessman or successful person and the requirements of lent is usually what is required to obtain a major accomplishment or goal. A true mental discipline. Don't fret, there is no need to go at it alone. Athletes have trainers, actors have coaches, business leaders have seminars/conferences. You can do the same with spiritual growth for Lent. I have a wonderful spiritual advisor who is a priest and a monk. Father Gregory helps me take a good hard look at myself. It's a lot of work to grow spiritually and it takes time, but I'm finding it rewarding. I'm a little slow on the learning curve. Making change is hard, but I'm a work in progress. (I'm not as innocent as I may seem HA) If an advisor isn't for you maybe a retreat, or a class? Lent is the time to stretch yourself, find yourself, and change yourself. Start with baby steps. Maybe a book or a book on tape for the 40 days of lent. Here are Ten Ways to Grow in Prayer.
If you really aren't sure just go sit and meditate somewhere, or say a prayer, or best of all just STOP and listen for the next 40 days.
Over the years Lenten practices have had many changes and the rules have actually gotten easier. Some say they no longer want to give up anything, so now they are just going to do something for someone. Some say Sundays don't count anymore. Whatever your belief or practice, I say just ask yourself, "Am I doing everything I can to make myself stronger and better?" If the answer is yes then great. If instead you are trying to fit in a few Lenten token disciplines into your busy schedule, to let everyone know you are playing along. Hmmm maybe you need to rethink Lent? If you're curious on the history of Lent CLICK HERE
. Even as a child I knew Lent meant that it was a time to make myself a better person in Gods eyes. Now at midlife it's important for me to do it for myself even more. And it's okay if this isn't your year to start making a change. This is more than a New Years resolution that you give up after two weeks. Lent is a true gift of sectioned time, filled with many chances for forgiveness and fresh starts, year after year after year. Your year will come, maybe this year is the year you are to help someone else change for the better. Today a priest said to read Psalm Chapter 51
if you need help and courage to start making changes. Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...
by Matuschka Lindo
We are like the Waltons when everyone heads to their room and they are about to hit the pillow at night. We start yelling from room to room good night... love you dad, love you Stone, love you mom, love you Tone.(Our kids nicknames) Even when the kids spend the night out it's a group text to the family, saying they are turning in at blanks
house and they text I love you. It's a rule in our house that we do group hugs and say I love you as much as possible. It cuts through anything you were about to say negative or hateful and it takes away the anger. It's really hard to look at someone when you are mad and say I love you and hold a grudge. There have been studies that have taken it even further than just saying I Love You.
For instance research shows that Kissing
can help you look younger, make a marriage stronger, and it can even help your spouse live longer.
Here are TEN Reasons why KISSING is good for you!
Valentines Day could be the reason there isn't enough love in the world. I can hardly stand to watch the news and all the hate. So much hate it is frightening. Our problem could be that we hold in expressing how much we truly love someone or how much they mean to us. One special holiday won't cut it. As far as I am concerned there are not enough days in a lifetime to show how much you love someone. There is a website called Tiny Buddha
where a blogger writes about how we must search out love, that love is in us and around us, and that we should all be doing our utmost to bring more love into all our relationships. I found it beautiful, so I thought I would share... 8 Simple Steps to bring more love into the world.
According to American Catholic.org the legend of Valentines day is centered around two beliefs. The origins of St. Valentine’s Day lie in the ancient Roman fertility festivalLupercalia, which was celebrated on February 15. During the festival, young women would place their names in a large urn. The young men would draw a name from the urn and then be romantically linked with that young woman for the following year. (AHHHH NO I DON"T THINK THAT SHOWS LOVE) Still other legends cite the fact that February 14 marked the date when birds began mating. (HMMM REALLY BIRDS KEEP IT IN CHECK UNTIL THE 14TH! COME ON!)
Whatever the reason we are now stuck with the pressure of this sudo holiday. I'm not advocating to not express your love on Valentine's Day. I'm just saying we need to practice spreading love more than a few times a year. The truth of the matter is that no amount of chocolate, stuffed animals or flowers can fill the void of someone who has never been truly loved. But showing some kindness and affection could change a person's life. Just think about it... you still have a few days. Now for those of you who have plenty of love to go around this is not an excuse to NOT get a Valentine's Day gift. That is actually the worst thing you can do for the day of lovers. I found a list of the WORST Valentines gifts
and it offers simple solutions to the dilemmas. Again, remember you don't always have to purchase a gift. As I stated above Kissing
does wonders... and there is the old saying You Can't Buy Love.
I know, I know... it sure is fun to try! LOLKeep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...Above photo by Patheos website
by Matuschka Lindo
Trying to figure out what to do during these long winter days and nights? Head to the theaters and watch midlife actors & actresses make their mark in some amazing movies.
The roles are great, the performances worthy. Peers and American movie watchers are taking notice. Baby Boomers and Generation X were well represented and nominated. For Hollywood that is a step in the right direction. Women over 50 or in midlife are always fighting father time and fading roles. Many movies tend to have 20 to 30 year old female bombshells paired with older men. Even in magazines anyone over 40 is usually airbrushed like crazy to look younger and thinner. Why they can't see that midlife is rather sensually rejuvenating and sexy is beyond me. As actresses near midlife they start to fade from the big screen so this years award nominees are so very refreshing! I noticed... Oh yes I did!
Of course while it was nice to see middle aged women get nominated, it's even nicer to notice that the majority of these women are happy to work with what they were born with, realizing age is only a number. Plastic surgery has fooled even the most beautiful of people. The addiction of constantly wanting to look younger has turned some into conversation pieces of what NOT TO DO! Believe it or not there are many in hollywood who have said NO to plastic surgery
and they are still sharing their talents with us and knocking it out of the ball park. When you think about it ? Aging gracefully is the way it should be done if you want to be a true hollywood icon. What woman doesn't look at Robert Redford with all the wrinkles and think. Oh Yes, I'm in baby! Even in everyday life, beauty is more appreciated if it hasn't been forced or manipulated. Tina Fey, Salma Hayek, Helen Mirren, Emma Thompson and all of you who dare to appreciate and share your natural beauty... Thank You!
Not to mention you should be a celebrity if you can be 50 and over and many people don't even know it. Here are some starlets who are sneaking through mid life. Some may have done some nips and tucks but over all these stars are not letting a youth driven society knock them off of the "Beautiful People" list! Here are 50 stars over 50!
The 2015 Oscars, 87th Academy Awards Ceremony is Sunday, February 22, 2015.Keep looking forward so you don't miss what God puts in front of ya!
Matuschka's Midlife... Telling it like it is...Above photo from CBS website